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Step Nine states that we make amends “except when to do so would injure them or others.” We don’t want our actions to cause further damage, harm or stress. In those cases, we can make amends in a broader sense by taking actions like donating money, volunteering our time or providing care. On the surface, making amends might sound as simple as offering a sincere apology for your treatment of others, but there’s more to this cornerstone Twelve Step practice. For every time you said you’d be there or that you’d help someone do something and didn’t show up, you’ve left an impression upon that person that they can’t rely on you to keep your word. You can start making amends by showing up, even if it’s years later, to do the things you said you’d do.

Making Indirect Amends

Over time, as you strengthen and deepen your recovery from addiction, you will undoubtedly revisit Steps 8 and 9 many times. Eventually you will find you are making amends day by day through the positive actions you routinely take in living by Twelve Step principles. People get tired of broken promises, of forgiving over and over and giving second and third, fourth, or fifth chances only to get hurt again. When you’re looking to change both your behavior and your broken relationships, stop making excuses to fulfill your promises.

Find Your True Colors In 12 Steps Expanded Edition

• An example would be telling someone how sorry you are that you stole from them and actually giving back what you took.
• You don’t have to take our word for the success of sober living in preventing relapse.

By working through the list in Step 9 and making amends to each person named there, you will restore a piece of yourself with each conversation. It’s possible that the other person is unaware of the harm you have caused them, and making direct amends would make them aware and hurt them badly. Your AA sponsor, therapist, or another trusted person can help you determine how best to address making amends.

Family and Children’s Programs

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Promises to do things differently

• The first step to applying for the Living Amends scholarship is to visit the Apply page and fill out the first month’s application.
• Generally speaking, people work through the Steps of Alcohol Anonymous with an addiction treatment counselor and/or sponsor.
• Eventually you will find you are making amends day by day through the positive actions you routinely take in living by Twelve Step principles.
• It was my fourth time in treatment, and they weren’t very supportive or optimistic, but I told them I was going to die without help.
• However, we want to ensure that you’re getting the support you need throughout the treatment process, so we’ll continue to work with you throughout your stay.

“You’ve been awarded…”………………… when I tell you I almost cried….. You have no idea the weight you lifted off my tired shoulders. I immediately found a sober living with less requirements in an attempt to keep my job. Talking to my sponsor he flat suggested I https://ecosoberhouse.com/ get a new job anyway so I would have time to devote to my recovery. I worked a few temp jobs to pay the remainder of my rent. A week later I got a job offer from the University of Texas making even more money and with better benefits than I had at Tesla!

• If so, contact Living Amends online today or apply for our scholarship by filling out the form below.
• The problem is there, and that person is in front of you right now.
• I will be applying to jobs in the treatment field in the coming months as I continue to gain more time as a sober woman.
• Understanding some making amends examples can help the individual correct past behaviors.
• For example, if you neglected or mistreated your children while you were using alcohol, a simple apology may not repair the damage.

Focus on your behavior.

I nearly lost my life in 2012 when after drinking all day, my mind gave up, and I went into a psychosis and took all my medications which consisted of blood pressure and antidepressant mostly. living amends My heart couldn’t take it, and I went into acute respiratory failure. After having a procedure on my heart, due to the meds I took, I was released only to drink that very same day.

Nashville council rejects proposed sign for Morgan Wallen’s new bar, decrying his behavior

We can also make amends by living very purposefully within the bounds of our principles. For example, if we hurt people with our lying and we cannot make amends without further injuring them, we would make living amends by making a decision to behave and communicate with complete honesty. Think of amends as actions taken that demonstrate your new way of life in recovery, whereas apologies are basically words.

Examples of Making Amends in Recovery

Renewal Center for Ongoing Recovery